1. Darling, you should shave.https://pizzabottle.com/48902-22-pictures-that-will-put-your-dirty-mind-to-the-ultimate-test/
"Darling, you have to shave, your hairy armpits makes other people think they are my ...".
2. Not a pen*s.https://cdn.wittyfeed.com/59900/800x0/12drgxl4a1rc1bx6i3of.jpeg?tr=q-40
Look very carefully and it's a pig. Shoq us a person that didn't see a pen * s as well as we'll show you a liar.